HBO Curb Your Enthusiasm’s Larry David is obnoxious and rude. Yet we still love him! Here are 10 of the stupidest things he ever did, ranked.
Throughout Curb your Enthusiasm’s run, Larry David has been subjected to some of the worst situations imaginable in a social context, with outcomes ranging from ostracization to being arrested. It seems that even the most subtle and unreasonable of social errors can spiral into drastic consequences for the (in-universe) retired sitcom writer. Often he comes across as a mere bystander to these external forces, a lone voice of reason in a nonsensical world.
However, on more than a few occasions, Larry had every opportunity to take a reasonable course of action, yet refused and was left with only himself to blame when he suffered the consequences. These are 10 of the stupidest things that Larry has done.
Nearly Getting The Seinfeld Reunion Cancelled (“The Reunion”)
After years of supposed discontentment with the series finale and begging from NBC for a reunion, Larry agrees to do it in the hopes of reuniting with Cheryl. After the meeting, the head of NBC offers Larry two tickets to a Lakers game. Larry and Jeff go, but are dismayed to find their seats are far from the court.
Using binoculars, they see that the head is there and has a court-side seat with David Spade. Upon running into him outside, he thoroughly insults him. When he has the opportunity to apologize he doesn’t hide his begrudging attitude and is dismissed. Larry only saves the show after warning him that he might be displaying symptoms of Lyme disease.
Draws On Magazines (“Larry vs. Michael J Fox”)
In season 8, Larry’s penchant for drawing a certain World War II-era mustache style onto magazines becomes one of the 10th episode’s focal points. His then-girlfriend’s son, Greg, observes this. He questions the significance of the mustache and the accompanying swastika Larry drew in a magazine, which Larry attempts to explain with questionable impact.
Later, after Larry gifts Greg a sewing machine, the latter proceeds to make a pillow sham for Suzie. She is thankful, but is horrified when she turns it over and finds a swastika embroidered on it. When she asks him where he learned about the symbol, Greg happily says that a now panicked Larry taught him.
Gets His Golf Club Out Of A Casket (“The 5 Wood”)
In “The 5 Wood,” Larry takes to the cashews that David Schwimmer’s father includes in a brand of mixed nuts. Meanwhile, Larry angers a golf course employee while questioning the latter’s heritage. This exchange angers the employee to a great extent.
Larry discovers later on at Leo Funkhouser’s funeral that the disgruntled employee purposefully provided Larry’s own golf club to be buried with the elder Funkhouser. With Jeff’s help (and golf club), Larry barely manages to switch them out. He is only undone when the difference is noticed just before the casket is closed, whereupon Marty also finds a cashew inside.
Kills A Swan (“The Black Swan”)
In an episode where Larry is in the process of correcting the grammar on his mother’s headstone, he unknowingly finds himself insulting the stonemason responsible for making the changes. While golfing, Mr. Takahashi’s (the club owner) black swan appears over a hill and charges at Larry. In a panic, Larry fatally swats it with his golf club.
Desperate to hide the evidence, Larry and his angered friends hide it in the woods before attempting to nonchalantly eat breakfast. Landscapers discover the body and Takahashi immediately suspects Larry. While he is temporarily convinced otherwise, the stonemason, who overheard details of the crime, identifies Larry as a swan-killer on the headstone.
Gets Banned From New York (“Larry vs. Michael J. Fox”)
In the finale of Season 8, Larry has found himself embroiled with Michael J Fox, who lives in the apartment directly above his. Larry is convinced that Fox is intentionally stomping his feet on the floor to disrupt Larry’s sleep, while the latter insists that it is one of the symptoms of his Parkinson’s disease.
Later at a benefit for Parkinson’s, Larry is talking to Jeff about getting Greg a violin to replace the sewing machine. As he is repeatedly shushed, Larry makes a violin gesture. While Fox is at the podium, he believes Larry is doing this to mock him. He calls Larry out, at which the crowd jeers at Larry and Mayor Bloomberg, who is present, bans Larry from the city.
Insults The Iranian Government (“Foisted!”)
In Season 9, Larry has the idea to start writing again. He settles on drafting a play entitled “Fatwa: The Musical” about Iranian revolutionary leader Ruhollah Khomeini and the fatwa (order of execution) he ordered against Salman Rushdie. Larry even goes on the Jimmy Kimmel show to promote it.
However, the next morning he is told by Jeff to turn on the TV. He does so and sees the current Iranian leader issuing a fatwa against him in response to the play. Horrified, it is further revealed to Larry that Leon (Larry’s self-appointed assistant) was meant to tell him not to go on TV in the first place.
Fights With Jeff Over Yogurt (“Vow Of Silence”)
In Season 9, Oscar, the Greene family’s German Shepherd, is nearing the end of his life. As a parting gesture, Susie has Jeff and Larry get Oscar his favorite brand of yogurt. The pair are successful, but then quickly consume it before they return. A friend of theirs, named Vance, witnesses this and attempts to tell Susie, but owing to his self imposed muteness is stopped and convinced that bad karma would come from “tattling.”
Later in the episode, Larry, who was already annoyed by a bad parking job earlier in the episode, leaves a note on a car expressing his disgust. As he meets up with Jeff and Susie, it is revealed that it was Vance’s car. Vance proceeds to break his vow of silence and tells Suzie the truth.
Blinds Ben Stiller (“Ben’s Birthday Party”)
Ben Stiller’s birthday had already been a point of contention between Ben and Larry. When Larry compiled with Stiller’s insistence that he didn’t need to bring a gift, that latter insists it is expected that everyone is supposed to bring one anyway. Larry later refuses to sing “happy birthday,” drawing further ire from his “Producers” costar.
Unable to find a place to discard a kabob stick, he gets into a conversation about golf with Jeff. Just as he is demonstrating a new swing technique, Stiller walks behind him and the stick stabs the actor in the eye.
Tries To Fix His TV (“The TiVo Guy”)
In one of the most pivotal moments in the series, Larry is in the process of having his television repaired. As he talks to the technician, Cheryl calls Larry from a flight. The plane is going through extremely violent weather and Cheryl, worried they might crash, calls to possibly talk to her husband for the last time. Larry takes the opportunity to relay TV-related questions to her.
Annoyed, Cheryl finds comfort in the passenger next to her. When she comes home, she tells the clueless Larry that she wants a divorce.
Steal Flowers And Perfume (“The Ida Funkhouser Roadside Memorial”)
In season 6, Larry gets himself into trouble with Cheryl, Loretta, and a “sample abusing” school administrator. Due to Larry’s criticism of her repeated sampling of different flavors at an ice cream store, she does not accept Loretta’s children into the school. In an effort to rectify this, he apologizes to her, Cheryl, and Loretta by giving all three of them some flowers from the roadside memorial of Marty’s mother (the justification being that Marty owed Larry money).
·When Marty unexpectedly notices this, Larry is forced (and fails) to sneak them out of the school and costs the Greenes admission, as well, when they show up at the same time. Larry also stole Ida’s perfume from her funeral to give to Cheryl and narrowly avoided being caught by Marty again.
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